Pirate Glitterbeard

Stories about pirates are perennially popular although funny quirks of speech and interesting animal companions are usually more prevalent than looting and pillaging in works on the subject written for children.

Pirate Glitterbeard, created by an Ontario mother and daughter duo who are both educators, unusually picks up on the idea of social awareness among pirates. The main character is introduced as Pirate Gruffybeard, a fierce-looking fellow with a big red beard and a sword. His sailing ship, the Heart’s Desire, is off to the island of Booby-Shooby in search of some well-reviewed meat pies.

Unbeknownst to his shipmates, Gruffybeard has a fixation for all things sparkly. In the privacy of his cabin, he puts on some fancy togs and dusts his beard with pink glitter. When an emergency calls him out onto the deck, his companions are at first startled and then readily admit that they enjoy getting gussied up a little too. Some lipstick and a few feathers can really brighten up a pirate’s day. The sailors rename their leader Captain Glitterbeard.

But this is a pirate ship, after all, and enemies sailing on the Rotten Turnip are on the horizon.

“Shall we fire now, Captain?” asked Bad Bones Betty.

“No, if we shoot now, we’ll miss. It’s a trap –

they want us to come closer so they can sink us.”
“How can we get them to come closer?” asked the pirates.

“I’ve heard Captain Squidlips loves a hearty party,”

said Captain Glitterbeard.

“Fetch the party supplies!”

After the pirates bring out the balloons and party hats, there is an odd change of mood when the Heart’s Desire actually does fire its cannons on the Rotten Turnip, sinking it and sending its crew into the water.

“Oh, curses,” shouted Captain Squidlips.

“We’ve been bamboozled. Abandon ship!”

The Rotten Turnip sank into the salty sea.

Imprecations against the trickery of Captain Glitterbeard and crew clash with compliments about the butter tarts and the outfits of the Heart’s Desire gang. Unfortunately, Captain Squidlips and others from the Rotten Turnip seem to be left stranded on the sea with their floaties while Glitterbeard’s crew dances and sings on the deck of their intact ship.

Oh, we likes to sing,

And we likes to dance

Some of us do it with no pants!...

Oh, we needs more glitter!

And we needs more feathers.

And we loves each other more than ever.

The story plays with the ideas of identity and inclusion. The worthy message is wrapped in a lighthearted tale which includes a few witty ups and some bits of wordplay that bring it down. I was a bit confused by the contradiction in the first passage quoted above: the Heart’s Desire doesn’t want the Rotten Turnip to come closer to them, but they want to get closer to it?

There is definitely some gender fluidity shown in the pictures as Captain Squidlips wears the trappings of a drag queen, and Captain Glitterbeard sports full facial hair and a boa. The bright, if unsophisticated, illustrations introduce readers to a group of highly original characters that cavort across the page.

A generously-sized paperback that comes from a small British Columbia publisher, Pirate Glitterbeard is a timely addition for picture book collections in school and public libraries and a resource for discussions between adults and children about gender and identity.