Summer with Sunil
Summer with Sunil
“Oh shit, I almost forgot. My parents want to know if you want to come whale watching with us next week.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You don’t have to, but if you want to, it would be cool. Do you even like whales?”
“I like whales.”
“Want to come?”
“Sure. Let me know how much the ticket is and I’ll email you the money.”
“No, no, my parents are paying. It’s a sweet deal.”
“I’ve got money. Again, a guilty dad is not an entirely a bad thing.”
“Sunil. They said they’d cover it. It’s not worth it to argue.”
Sunil laughed. “Fine.”
I texted my mom that Sunil was in. I felt good about offering them some family time, even if it wasn’t with their family. We could be the surrogate family. Except then I might feel like we were siblings or something, which I really didn’t want to feel, considering some of the other feelings I was having for Sunil.
“Have you ever made out with anyone?” I said. It just came out. Sometimes I had no filter.
Sunil’s head swivelled toward me and then back to their game, where they ended up dying by zombie attack.
“Shit! Dammit,” they muttered.
“Sorry. I distracted you.”
Sunil paused the game and gave me their full attention.
“Did you seriously just ask me if I’d ever made out with anyone? While I was being attacked by a clicker?”
“A what?”
“It’s a kind of…zombie. Except the people aren’t actually dead. They’ve been taken over by a fungus.”
“There are different kinds of fungus zombies?”
Sunil shook their head but I was glad to see a wry smile. “So, did you really ask me that?”
“Uh. Yeah.” No going back now, I guess.
“Wow. That’s epic level awkward,” they said.
“So, have you?” I pressed. For some reason, I needed to know.
“Not really.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What does that mean?”
They shrugged and put the controller down. “It means that I started to once and didn’t like it much. So, I stopped.”
“Oh.” I thought about that. “Does that mean you’re…asexual?”
Sunil gave me a look. “Huh? I don’t know. Maybe. Or maybe I just didn't like making out with her.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I don’t have all the answers yet, you know.” They smiled at me and I felt better. Sunil took a deep breath. “If you’re asking if I ever have sex on the brain, then yeah, I do. I have feelings like that. I don’t think I’m asexual.”
“Okay. Well, do you want to date hes or shes or theys? Or do you know yet?”
“I don’t really care. I’m attracted to the person. Not the gender.”
“Me too. Is that pansexual? I’ve always thought of myself as bisexual,” I said.
Sunil turned the controller off and set it down.
“Dominic. I feel like this conversation is getting way serious. Why does the word matter, if you know who you’re attracted to, and who you are?”
I nodded. “Sure. I guess.”
“Or even if you don’t. We need to normalize not having everything figure out. Not defining every little thing about ourselves. We’re not dictionaries. We’re people. We’re just trying to live our lives in the face of a global extinction event.”
I blinked. “Wow. That’s powerful.”
“I’ll put it on a T-shirt,” they said, grinning and going back to their game. “Don’t get me wrong, I know that labels are hugely important for a lot of people. But for me, I don’t feel like I need to define every aspect of myself so that other people can ‘get’ me. Most people either get me or don’t when they meet me, and I’m not interested in forcing them.” They looked into my eyes with emotion. “I know you get me. I knew it from the start.”
Dominic is not impressed that he has to go on a summer vacation from Ottawa to Nova Scotia with his parents. He doesn’t want to leave his friend, but knows how much the trip means to his parents especially since his mom has such great memories of spending time at Summerside Beach and no one knows when her MS will make trips like this impossible. On the long drive, Dominic is still trying to negotiate the fact that he’s not a CIS male and some people give him curious looks as he uses the men’s washroom. He’s also not sure how things are going to be when they get to the small town - will he have to just spend the whole summer alone or with his parents? Dominic is pretty sure there won’t be a large group of other 16-year-olds who are also experiencing gender dysphoria.
The Dunns pull into the town of Liverpool which is close to Summerside Beach. They have to stay in Liverpool for a few days before their cabin is ready. They settle in and decide to go to the beach. Looking out at the ocean, Dominic’s attention is caught by a person that he thinks at first is a girl, but, after looking more closely, he can’t be sure and doesn’t want to make assumptions. Dominic is struck with love at first sight, and, although the person smiles at him, Dominic can’t get the courage up to go over and say hello. He might never see the person again, but Dominic’s a bit more hopeful about summer in Nova Scotia.
With the cabin ready, the Dunn’s move into Summerside Beach for the rest of the summer. It’s a nice cabin, but Dominic can’t get that person out of his mind. After hanging out in the cabin, Dominic finally decides to go outside for a walk on the beach. He’s not expecting anything, and, just as he leaves the cabin, he turns and is surprised to see the person he saw at the park in Liverpool standing right in front of the cabin beside theirs! They finally say hello to each other, and Dominic admits that he remembers the person from the park. After chatting for a bit, they decide to go for a walk on the beach. Dominic finally learns the person’s name is Sunil and uses the pronouns they/them. The summer is getting more interesting for Dominic by the minute!
As Sunil and Dominic spend more time together, Dominic learns that Sunil is supposed to be vacationing with their dad, but their dad is actually spending most of his time with his new girlfriend whom he met online, in Bridgewater, about 40 minutes away. Although this might be every 17-year-old’s dream, Sunil is pretty disappointed that their dad isn’t spending any time with them, but that also allows Sunil to hang out with the Dunn family and have some alone time with Dominic.
Dominic tells his parents that he met Sunil and that they’re spending time together going for walks, playing video games, and watching Netflix. His parents are okay with this, but struggle not with the fact that Sunil is gender-queer, but with remembering to use the proper pronouns. Dominic’s parents invite Sunil to join their family outings, and Sunil is happy to go. As they spend more time together, walking, holding hands, and having more in depth conversations about the state of their relationship, Dominic and Sunil both know that they may never see each other once the summer is over.
The pair continue to spend time together, but Dominic’s parents still don’t know that Sunil is staying in the cabin alone. The truth comes out, however, as Dominic is compelled to tell his parents. At first they’re alarmed, but they feel badly for Sunil, thinking about how they must feel knowing that their dad chooses to spend time with his new girlfriend rather than his child.
One evening while Dominic and Sunil are hanging out, they see a group of young people around a bonfire down on the beach. They decide to venture over and check it out, but, as they approach, they’re first faced with some stares and rude comments. A girl, however, stands up for them and everything seems to be okay, but Dominic and Sunil decide it’s best to just go home. Just as they’re turning to leave, Sunil hears their name being shouted - it’s their dad coming up the beach! Their dad’s mad that Sunil left the resort and walks with Sunil back to the cabin with Dominic closely behind.
Later that night, Dominic sees Sunil quietly leaving their cabin with their backpack. Sunil tells Dominic that he’s catching an Uber to the Halifax airport to catch the next flight home to Toronto and his mom. Dominic, not wanting Sunil to be alone, decides to go with him even though he hasn’t asked his parents. It is going to be a long wait as Sunil’s flight isn’t until the morning. Dominic has to tell his parents, and, even though they are worried, they say they’re okay with the two of them together at the airport and will pick up Dominic after Sunil’s flight leaves so they can spend the last hours together. Sunil returns to Toronto, and Dominic goes back to Ottawa with his parents.
Although apart, Dominic and Sunil stayed in contact throughout their grade 12 year. Dominic visited Sunil in Toronto over March break and again in the summer. The next year, both Dominic and Sunil enroll at the University of Ottawa and are both excited that they’ll be able to spend more time together and explore themselves and their relationship.
Penta Ledger is a teacher-librarian at Gravenhurst High School in Gravenhurst, Ontario.